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Mitzi
Mitzi
Credit Group,
Portrayed By
Co-Starring
Kirsten Wyatt
First Appearance Billy Jones and the Orgy Lamps
Last Appearance A House Full of Extremely Lame Horses

Mitzi

Dancer at the Wolford.


Biography

S4E2 - Gloria asks Bunny, Mitzi and the other strippers for money so she can pay Susie back for bail, but they’re as broke as her.

S4E3 - Midge has a rocky start at the Wolford. Mid-way through the night, she attempts to introduce herself to Mitzi, Bunny, Tilly, and the other dancers, but they just ignore her.

S4E4 - Midge continues to wage an uphill battle trying to improve the working conditions at the Wolford. She stands and watches as today's dancers (Gilded Age, Lana LaRue, Philomena, Sugar, Tilly, Bunny, Bubbles, Can Can Mademoiselle, Gloria, Mitzi, Cotton Ball and Sapphira), garbed in gnatty costumes with missing components, lethargically go through the motions of the finale. At the end of the act, the curtain fails to descend. When Midge goes out on stage to conclude the show, the band does not stop playing to let her talk, her spotlight takes forever to turn on, and when it finally does, her mic cuts out. After exchanging some terse words with Charlie and Boise, she goes over to Gloria, Bunny, Tilly and Mitzi and suggests that they rehearse the finale next time so it goes more smoothly, and offers to have Zelda fix up their costumes. Gloria invites Midge to movie night, but she has plans.

S4E4 - At the Wolford, Midge finally starts to make some headway. When Boise barges into the dressing room and tells Mitzi to move her ass, Midge firmly tells him to speak to the dancers with more respect, and to always knock at the door before entering. Gloria, Mitzi, Bunny, Philomena, Bubbles, Can Can Mademoiselle, Sapphira, Sugar, Gilded Age and Lana LaRue all look on, surprised and impressed. Later, she goes on stage, and does a set about the secret lives of stay-at-home wives which lands well. The dancers (Philomena, Sapphira, Cotton Ball, Gilded Age, Can-Can Mademoiselle, Mitzi, Gloria, Sugar) watch from the wings, enthralled, as do the wait staff on the theatre floor. Boise notices this, and angrily tells them to get back to work.

S4E4 - At the Wolford, things are finally going well. The dancers for the night (Can Can Mademoiselle, Sapphira, Bunny, Sugar, Philomena, Ringmaster, Mitzi, Lana LaRue, Gilded Age, Cotton Ball, Annie Oakley) perform the finale, and it is noticeably more energetic and polished than before. Their costumes are now pristine and illustrious, presumably thanks to some help from Zelda. At the end of the act, the curtain descends, the band stops, Midge's spotlight comes on, her mic works, and she is able to deliver her closing remarks cleanly. As she leaves the stage, Midge exclaims that they finally got it perfect… only to fall into the orchestra pit, breaking her arm. The dancers react with mild interest and concern, but nobody else appears to care.

S4E6 - In a meeting with Terrence, Boise and Mario attempt to put a stop to the feminization of the Wolford. When Midge comes over with Susie, they angrily confront her. Kenny sides with Boise and Mario, having been overwhelmed with unusual drink orders, but Tawny, Bunny, Mitzi and Tilly all pitch in on Midge’s side. Terrence is on the side of the money, and when he sees that these changes have only increased profits, he makes the call that they should double down on them, much to the chagrin of Boise and Mario.

S4E7 - Bunny, Mitzi, and Tilly get to know Imogene when she comes to visit Midge at the Wolford. Jillian briefly drops into their conversation as well.

S4E8 - Boise calls Midge at the hospital and begs her to come back. He recounts the disastrous outcome of Midge’s idea to send Mitzi, Bunny and Gloria up in her place.

S4E8 - Bunny and Mitzi greet Midge as she comes to the Wolford from the hospital to do one set. Bunny is dressed in her usual outfit, but Mitzi is dressed as Midge. Shortly after Midge’s set, a police raid begins, and Boise frantically tries to evacuate the whole place. Bunny and Mitzi, however, linger in the dressing room as Boise shouts at them - the former trying to put on her shoes, the latter looking for a lost earring. Ultimately, Boise hides Mitzi under a pile of feathers and physically hauls Bunny away.

S5E7 - As Bunny and Mitzi attempt to dislodge a mysterious animal from the ceiling (which they speculate may be a cat), Susie arrives unexpectedly and pulls Midge aside to tell her about the Jack Paar showcase. Midge is initially unenthused, but Susie eventually talks her into it. Suddenly, there is a scream from the dressing room as the animal (which was not a cat) is uncovered. The terrified dancers, including Bunny and Mitzi, flee past Midge and Susie.

Quotes & Dialogue

GLORIA: Does anybody have a 20?
MITZI: Twenty? What am I, fucking Rockefeller?
BUNNY: Honey, we're all broke.
– S4E2
MIDGE: And you - are you in your bra?
MITZI: Yeah.
MIDGE: Why?
MITZI: Well, I can't go out there naked. There's laws.
MIDGE: Where's your costume?
MITZI: Oh, the strap broke. I can't fix it, and Dribbles ate my pasty.
MIDGE: Get me your costume. I'll have Zelda fix it.
– S4E4
BUNNY: I don't like the smell of piss.
TILLY: Me, neither.
MITZI: And for me, it depends on the circumstances.
– S4E6
BOISE: I'm sorry, you guys should be sore. Maisel's hogging all the spotlight.
MITZI: All I know is that since she got here, the coffee's much better.
– S4E6
BOISE: Over my dead body am I buying tiny little umbrellas and a feminine product dispenser.
MITZI: They got those?
MIDGE: Sure, they do.
MITZI: Geez, so classy. It'll be like the Frick museum.
– S4E6
IMOGENE: What's a BJ?
MITZI: God, honey, you are so sweet and innocent. Like an elf riding a bunny rabbit.
– S4E7
MITZI: Oh, I'd never want to be a secretary. Men don't respect 'em.
JILLIAN: They spend all day at the office just staring at their tits. It's degrading.
IMOGENE: Right. Well, I would definitely avoid having them do that.
– S4E7
BUNNY: We got a new sign to go on the door here. On one side, it says, “We're open. Please come inside.” And on the other side, it says, “Sorry we're closed.”
MITZI: I don't get it.
GLORIA: I don't think that's what it says.
BUNNY: What it fucking says. I'm looking at it right here. “Sorry we're…”
GLORIA: “Clothed.” It says, “Sorry we're clothed.” Like we have our clothes on.
BUNNY: Okay. And on the other side, it says, “Sorry we're clothed.”
MITZI: I still don't get it.
– S4E8

Appearances

Season 4

Season 5

See Also

mitzi.txt · Last modified: 2026/08/13 22:05 by 127.0.0.1